Light their way, when the darkness surrounds them. Give them love. Let it shine all around them...

This must come first…
=================

My dear one, 

Please know that I love you with ALL of my heart as I have since the moment I was made aware that you’d be coming into the world. The joy that accompanied that news will remain forever unchanged and the love I felt for you then remains absolutely undiminished today.

You know that I’m seldom speechless but I have no idea what I can say to bring you comfort. Parents get divorced and I’ve come to realize that yours should have done so much sooner to spare you the endless noise that sadly dominated far too much of your life for far too long. I’m so very sorry for all the upset that I caused you. You deserve so much better.

 

I hope the time comes that you’ll hear and accept my sincerest apologies for my share of the noise you had to grow up around. Never assume that I don’t love you, miss you, and want to see you. I look forward to our eventual reunion as I have few other events. 

Love you – ALWAYS!

Dad

========================

Still going through some stuff. Seems it never ends...

>>Yawn!<<

 

"Sooner or later, it just becomes your life..."

 

Stronger,

Otto

Tunes of the Day: The Carpenters – “Ultimate Collection” because sometimes you just need it quieter...

But every word you say today, gets twisted 'round some other way...

More thoughts and tales to follow soon. My life has undergone some extreme changes. Those that either know me or can read between the lines can easily figure out what I allude to.

That said, I feel the need to get back to contributing to this blog soon and apologize to anyone interested for my extended hiatus (which sounds strangely obscene).

Kindness and strength to you all,
Otto

Tunes of the Day: R.E.M. - Automatic for the People

“And games that never amount to more than they're meant, will play themselves out.”

It’s time I returned to writing something in this space, if for no other reason than to prove to myself that I’m capable of such a disciplined effort.

Things continue to be a little crazy. My life continues to have its stresses and strains, but such circumstances still can't knock the smile off my face. Those difficulties, and those most engaged in creating them are really to be laughed at. As stated previously, life is too short to allow yourself immersion in such negativity, though those that must, must. Some will adopt a purpose - however purposeless - to convince themselves they’re actually moving forward. Personal growth isn’t for everyone, though there are those who manage a sort of personal "sleight-of-mind" to keep their delusions alive.

I’m scheduled to see a much-missed someone on Friday and truly can’t wait – one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever known and one who never fails to get me smiling until my face hurts. What a great way to begin what is guaranteed to be an absurdly busy weekend!

Best wishes and strength to all of those young people graduating high school and college in the coming week or two, and to a very special someone, please know you’ll always have my love, and my pride in all that you are can never be diminished. Some things are eternal. God bless you!

That’s about it this time around.

Rise above,

Otto

Tunes of the Day: Bonnie Raitt - “Slipstream”

Goodnight, my angel, time to close your eyes, and save these questions for another day...

Okay, nothing very original today, just a couple of verses from "daughter songs" for my girls who may need a gentle reminder of just how much I truly love them.

While the ugliness thats seems unavoidable in a divorce may alter our geographical proximity, my Babies, it will never eliminate the love I will always have for you both…

First, a verse from Loudon Wainwright III’s “Daughter”

"That's my daughter in the water
Every time she fell I caught her
Every time she fell

And that's my daughter in the water
I lost every time I fought her
Yeah, I lost every time"

=======
…and then, from Paul Simon’s “Father and Daughter”

"I'm gonna watch you shine
Gonna watch you grow
Gonna paint a sign
So you'll always know
As long as one and one is two
There could never be a father
Who loved his daughter more than I love you"

and finally from Billy Joel’s “Lullabye”

"Goodnight, my angel
Time to close your eyes
and save these questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say

I promised I would never leave you
and you should always know
Wherever you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be far away"

Sorry, Ladies.
I love you and can’t wait until I see you again.

God bless you both!
Otto (Dad)


Tunes of the Day: Colin Hay – “Man at Work” (2003)

"I've got nothing to say, but it's okay..."

Kind of random this time around. There’s a bunch of stuff I’ve been thinking about.

A woman who can really wear a hat is incredibly sexy.

A foreign woman who can wear a hat is even sexier.

I can watch “The Big Lebowski” again and again and still laugh as hard as I did the first time I saw it.

French toast. That’s all…just French Toast!

What’s with the people on the train on the three seat bench who can’t simply move in but have to get up so new passengers have to sit in the middle? Get your ass over, fool!

Lent is pretty tough on my Friday diet.

My three kids are the most beautiful people I know and truly citizens of the world.

Think before you sleep. It helps your dreams.

Is there a better version of “The Star-Spangled Banner” than the one Marvin Gaye sang? They should have retired the song after that!

I don’t understand people who see the loss of a friendship as a personal victory.

February 29 should be a national holiday.

“If you can’t walk, crawl. But by all means keep moving!”

“You’ve got to fight the powers that be…”
=============================================
Here’s my response to the Ohio School Shootings earlier this week. I ask your indulgence:

So many things to tell you.

I said “I love you” as you left this morning.

I don’t think you heard me.

You got ahead of me at the door.

Keeping your usual crazy pace.

I smiled as you headed for the bus.

I knew you were smiling back.

Your smile…always in my head.

Back to morning coffee.

Back to the job search.

Back to the news an hour later.

Another psycho.

Another report of gunshots.

Another school

Another family weeping.

Not mine.

Not this time.

Thank God!

Working it out,
Otto

Tunes of the Day: Little Feat – “Waiting for Columbus”

“She was a long cool woman in a black dress”

I was riding home the other night and this story came barreling into my consciousness without warning. I’ve got no idea where it came from or why, but days later this woman refuses to leave my brain and no, we’re not talking Kubla Khan meets the Penthouse Forum. This is a bit stranger than my usual thoughts on a trip home.

======================

I don’t know when or how I met her, exactly. I mean, one moment she wasn’t there and then she was – right there on the barstool beside me. A freshly poured pint had been the focus of my attention. It was that kind of day. I never even saw her enter the bar and suddenly this beautiful woman was bumping hip-first into me. The bar wasn’t even all that crowded. She could easily have found a seat with the hipster crowd impressing the hell out each other down toward the back room. Before I could think about it, her hand was in front of me. “Jaleeza – nice to meet you.” Just like that, “Jaleeza.” Seriously? Wow! Nice hand, too.

I couldn’t peg the accent, but man, what a great voice. I don’t know why but it made me think of my first girlfriend’s voice and y’know, that first time - when I was young enough to think it would be forever and I kind of wished her name was “Wendy” or “Terry” or “Sandy” or any of a hundred other of those girls with “y” names who always end up in Springsteen songs. I quickly apologized to my Guinness and put my attention where it belonged. Someone I’d just met but known forever…you know what I mean? Barely a “hello” and I’m gasping for air like a total goon.

Don't know where this one is going,
Otto

Tunes of the Day: Jeff Bridges - "Crazy Heart" (soundtrack)

"Stay, Little Valentine, stay. Each day is Valentine's Day..."

She’s someone else’s valentine.
I guess I should have known.
No way would she be single.
No way she’d be alone -
not with those dimples, smile, face,
those eyes that sparkle, shine.
Though she’s someone else’s valentine.
I still wish that she was mine.

Happy Valentine's Day,
Otto

Tunes of the day: Bruce Springsteen - "Tunnel of Love"