"Where have you been, my blue-eyed son? Where have you been, my darling young one?"

An appropriate title for today, but one I can't really comment on until tomorrow. In the meantime, here are more ruminations on people I love and a faith I embrace. Non-believers please note the exits to the right and left of the blog...

Dylan may have written the lyric that provides the title above but I prefer the Bryan Ferry version of the song. That said, today SHOULD be a very special day for me in terms of reuniting with “one of the people I love most in the world.” I’m not sure what I’m allowed to say about it (legally) but will do my best to share the details of, or at least the feelings from, our meeting soon.

My Son, my Father, and my Brother are the three guys I love most in this world. It should be obvious that my two Daughters and my Mom share that distinction among the females in my life.

At twelve years old, I believe my son to be among the wisest people I know – in terms of wisdom, not snarkiness. He has an astounding way of assessing a situation or story and offering comments and opinions that seem well beyond his years. Many are the times he's offered insightful comments that have shifted and changed my thinking in new and better ways. He is also the most generous, comforting, loving, kind-hearted, gentle, even-tempered, empathetic, joyful, endlessly pleasant and funniest people I’ve ever known. To say that I love him doesn’t come close to covering it.
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I consider myself extremely fortunate that my Dad (and Mom) are still living and despite the miles separating us are a very active part of my life. The values they instilled in me have served me well and the definition I have of “taking the high ground” has its origin in my observations of my Dad over the years. I’ve never known him to show anything but compassion to those around him. He’s also incredibly intelligent, loving and probably has the driest sense of humor I’ve ever encountered. That said, he almost always gets me laughing, especially when he senses that’s what I need most.

One of my favorite stories about my Dad and his faith goes as follows. When I was much younger, we used to go to a church that had an enormous (probably life-sized) crucifix suspended above the break in the altar rail, held in place by two chains. My Dad was lectoring (reading) at a Sunday Mass when one of the chains let go from the ceiling and the crucifix swung pendulum-like until finally coming to rest above that spot.

When it came time to distribute the host (Communion) – a part of Dad’s responsibilities at the Mass – the location where he and the priest would typically do so was right beneath this break in the railing and at this point had this huge crucifix hanging above it at a frightening angle. Sadly, and perhaps not surprisingly, the priest came down from his position behind the altar and made a beeline for the safety of a space to one side of the opening in the rail. My Dad on the other hand, stood right under it and dispensed Communion as he had countless times before.

For me, that was as profound an expression of faith as I'd ever seen – and I’ve tried to emulate his faith and resolve ever since. When I mentioned this episode to him recently, he didn’t even remember it. I think at that time he simply knew that God would watch over him.

As a function of witnessing that moment, I’ve come to believe the same. For the last several months, it’s clear that God has been watching over me and has offered many signs that he’s there especially over these last severely trying months. I’m still here and my faith remains absolute and unchallenged. All glory and thanks where it’s due! You don’t have to believe as I do, but please show my faith the same respect I’ll afford yours!

I’ll stop here, but comments about my brother, mentioned several paragraphs back will be posted at a later date. He’s a pretty amazing person in his own right and one of my very best friends!

Tunes of the day: John Lennon - Double Fantasy
(especially for the sake of "Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)")

"I Got Two Sides, and They're Both Friends!"

Those that know me know the value I place on the relationship(s) I have with my friends. I have been gifted with a great crowd of people around me, and find that a number of those adages about friends and friendship seem to hold true…

· To have good friends, be a good friend.
· Your true friends will never let you down.
· I’ll never have so many friends that I can afford to lose one.
· My next friend is only a “hello” and 3 minutes of conversation away.
· The friend of my friend is my friend.
· Friends are the family you choose.
· Go friend yourself!

I could never manage to explain to some that I enjoy my friendships in a far more “open” way than in the style they may be accustomed to. Friendships to me are, on some fundamental level about love. It’s difficult to love someone you don’t know. You can’t say you know someone whose inner mental workings you’ve never explored – requiring in-depth conversations and all manner of information sharing. (By the way, friends - I love you and all you've meant to me in these somewhat trying months! I hope to stay deserving of you) .

The relationship I have with my friends is DEFINED BY, and DEPENDENT ON a healthy and open exchange of histories, ideas, feelings, truths, opposing opinions, challenging points-of-view, personal experiences, deep desires and devotions, aspirations, confidences, loves, hates, and everything in between. I want to be connected to my friends so as to feel a bit more connected to the world and not as some odd amplification of my own loneliness. I learn nothing taking only my own counsel.

I can (begrudgingly?) accept the notion that relationships between people without the presence of those elements mentioned may have their worth, but that "pseudo-connection" is not anything I’d ever consider a friendship. I can easily get that sort of discourse talking to myself – not that I haven’t. In fact, I may well be doing so presently.

Mine is clearly not the only appropriate model or definition for all friendships. To spend time trying to convince anyone that this is so seems a particularly pointless exercise; demanding far too much energy. I mean can’t we all just friggin’ get along?

Sorry to be on my horse about this but it’s been nagging at me a bit today, as I begin to explore new friendships at work. I’ve also been informed by a number of my female friends that friendships between women differ greatly from those between men. I may offer my thoughts on that topic another time…when I feel a Kurt Cobain coming on; meaning Kurt no disrespect, of course.

You find out who your friends are,
Otto

Tunes of the Day: Keb' Mo' - The Reflection

Just for the record (no pun intended for those of you who still know what a "record" is), yesterday's pick was Gil Scott Heron - Pieces of a Man.
You're missed, Gil!

"You can be the President. I'd rather be the Pope..."

All of the strength and prayers offered by my friends and family are starting to pay off. I received a phonecall this morning telling me that I WILL be reunited with one of those “people who are dearest to me in all the world” on Monday – a reunion long overdue! This news certainly got the tears flowing. I’ll write more about that "meeting" after it happens. (Soon, Buddy. Soon!)

Damn, life is good! More reasons to smile these days than I can begin to process, but I will share them before long. I feel like my CHI is turbo-charged – and I should probably ask myself “how did I get here?” Praise and thanks heading "upstairs" for sure...

Keep ‘em guessing,
Otto

Tunes of the Day: Prince: O(+> (Because his name is “Prince” and he IS funky. His name is “Prince” the One and Only!)

Random Thoughts and Whatnots

Hey, it’s 25 years ago today that I…nope, not going there outside of saying "Richie, you owe me!"

As a newbie to this here fancy-ass blogosphere, I’ve got that first-timers problem of knowing just what sort of content actually merits space here. It seems it should be something more than an extended tweet – and I have certain friends who will no doubt pick up the “first timer” and “extended tweet” references and run with them. Beavis, meet Butthead!

Friday didn’t go according to plan at all. You know you’ve missed the mark when the highlight of your post-work evening is getting the bus to drop you off in front of your apartment. Yup, it was just that exciting.

After a far less than interesting sequence of events – “someone” declined my invitation; my usual co-attendee took ill; my sister’s attendance became even “iffier “once MY enthusiasm waned - I never made it to see the band I'd mentioned in an earlier posting and I was sound asleep by about 9:30p. This getting old is getting old.

Saturday didn’t bring much more than snow, though since I live on a main street, the plows were going by at about 3 minute intervals. Not particularly conducive to sleeping in, but I gave it my best effort. I spent a good chunk of the day as a sofa slug (“Justified” Season 2!) until finally forcing myself out to run a few errands – like paying my rent. Can you stand the excitement? My fingers are quaking as I type this.

Sunday was “Watch the game with my Brother” day. Though I enjoyed the game, I don’t think it was a game the Patriots won as much as it was a game the Ravens lost. I’m not the biggest football fan you’ll meet, but let’s be honest. It could have so easily gone the other way.

I offer my deepest apologies for the dullness of this - yawn - entry. Hopefully I'll have more to say in the future. Tomorrow may bring a piece of a (mushy) poem I’m working on. How’s that for a cliffhanger?

Commit random acts of absurdity,
Otto

Tunes of the day: Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings - Soul Time!

Friday and First Post

It's Friday but I don't feel I have anything particularly clever to offer.

There are plans afoot to see my friends' band this evening but as yet my plans have not been locked down. I'm hoping for a positive response from someone I've invited to join me but haven't managed to pin her down yet (don't get smart - that's not what I meant)! As is always my way, hope springs eternal.

I await a reunion with the people who are dearest to me in all the world and have been assured that I shall see one of them fairly soon - a reunion long overdue! Thanks be to God! (I'm keeping the details to myself for legal reasons). Taking the high ground has been my choice from the beginning and that choice is beginning to yield the results I knew it would.

I love my life! God has sent me angels when I've needed them. Without the support, love, devotion, and strength of my friends, my family, and the depth of my faith I could not be where I am now. From my perspective I am close to where I want to be and honestly, if someone were to tell me tales of all I've lived through these past several months, I wouldn't believe them. Character building?

Life is for living. Do so joyfully!
Otto