"I Got Two Sides, and They're Both Friends!"

Those that know me know the value I place on the relationship(s) I have with my friends. I have been gifted with a great crowd of people around me, and find that a number of those adages about friends and friendship seem to hold true…

· To have good friends, be a good friend.
· Your true friends will never let you down.
· I’ll never have so many friends that I can afford to lose one.
· My next friend is only a “hello” and 3 minutes of conversation away.
· The friend of my friend is my friend.
· Friends are the family you choose.
· Go friend yourself!

I could never manage to explain to some that I enjoy my friendships in a far more “open” way than in the style they may be accustomed to. Friendships to me are, on some fundamental level about love. It’s difficult to love someone you don’t know. You can’t say you know someone whose inner mental workings you’ve never explored – requiring in-depth conversations and all manner of information sharing. (By the way, friends - I love you and all you've meant to me in these somewhat trying months! I hope to stay deserving of you) .

The relationship I have with my friends is DEFINED BY, and DEPENDENT ON a healthy and open exchange of histories, ideas, feelings, truths, opposing opinions, challenging points-of-view, personal experiences, deep desires and devotions, aspirations, confidences, loves, hates, and everything in between. I want to be connected to my friends so as to feel a bit more connected to the world and not as some odd amplification of my own loneliness. I learn nothing taking only my own counsel.

I can (begrudgingly?) accept the notion that relationships between people without the presence of those elements mentioned may have their worth, but that "pseudo-connection" is not anything I’d ever consider a friendship. I can easily get that sort of discourse talking to myself – not that I haven’t. In fact, I may well be doing so presently.

Mine is clearly not the only appropriate model or definition for all friendships. To spend time trying to convince anyone that this is so seems a particularly pointless exercise; demanding far too much energy. I mean can’t we all just friggin’ get along?

Sorry to be on my horse about this but it’s been nagging at me a bit today, as I begin to explore new friendships at work. I’ve also been informed by a number of my female friends that friendships between women differ greatly from those between men. I may offer my thoughts on that topic another time…when I feel a Kurt Cobain coming on; meaning Kurt no disrespect, of course.

You find out who your friends are,
Otto

Tunes of the Day: Keb' Mo' - The Reflection

Just for the record (no pun intended for those of you who still know what a "record" is), yesterday's pick was Gil Scott Heron - Pieces of a Man.
You're missed, Gil!